I think the biggest tragedy of mankind is that it has condoned criticism and judgment toward others to the degree of emotional insecurity we face today...
People always worry about their appearance. People worry about making friends in new places. People worry if the whispers pertain to them. They worry did they do something wrong. Come across rude. Is work or school going to be uncomfortable this week...
Does he think I'm fat does she think I'm skinny; Am I too dressed up.Do I talk too muchDo I smile too bigAm I too eager And for God's sake-Will I ever look like her...
And what complements the problem is the very lack of compliment.Not the flirting compliment, or the I want to get some compliment, or theI-wronged-her-last-week-I'll-make-up-for-it-by-complimenting-her, compliment.
A REAL compliment. Not to appear nicer, not to make someone like you Not to be sweet.Not because they're having--and look it--a horribly bad day.But a real compliment, simply because they deserve one.
And when has it become convention only to be proud of ONESELF? Does pride in others come only with maturity and by that of course I mean only its synonymous HavingAChild...Day?
Since that is the new benchmark for maturity and all..
But honestly how often does one hear alternate references in regards to pride for another other than "Oh but I'm proud of my kids..."
People do not tell others they are proud of them nearly often enough anymore. Be proud of your brother be proud of your sis be proud of your best friend and be proud of even the acquaintance who you've happened to know for 12 years. Don't force it, of course. But deliver it when its due. Do only things like college graduation marriage or getting hired warrant pride? Are those the only things you feel you do in your life that one should take pride in? Because those are the events that 95% of that neglected word is every employed...
VERBALIZE the pride you have for someone. Let them know. Tell them. Make it so he or she does not get accustomed to the life of really being the only one invested in his or herself. Be proud of your people, your society, and even your civilization as a whole.
Where it's due, of course.Be proud of where we have come collectively.
Sad is it that when awards were given as a greater supplement to the proud accolade already commanded that now conversely serve as the fixtures needed to command any pride at all.
Pride.
What does that word mean to people anymore, anyway.
Adieu.
But honestly how often does one hear alternate references in regards to pride for another other than "Oh but I'm proud of my kids..."
Adieu.
Reading this has reminded me of the reason I originally took interest in you in the first place... not just the specific topics covered in this post, but your general insight on life.
ReplyDeleteAs far as this particular post is concerned: I completely agree with your thoughts on individuals obsessive need to be accepted by those around them. I know far too many people who suffer from a similar foible.
And on compliments: My favorites have always been the ones delivered to/by random passersby, regardless of the topic (think of a good hair day or a nice outfit) simply because it eliminates the possibility of a hidden purpose behind the compliment. Both giving and receiving these compliments can brighten any day... even those that don't actually need to be brightened.
And finally on pride: I actually told an ex of mine I was proud of them earlier today. However, I'm sad to say I was very hesitant and I actually commented that it felt odd to say (which probably completely undermined the compliment). And, now after reading this I'm actually ashamed that I couldn't just express myself without quantifying it somehow.
This is a very organized rebuttal (not my typical approach) but I figured I'd utilize this opportunity to express myself as simply as possible without all the filters and blurry meanings.
I'm really glad you decided to share this. Particularly the bit about the stranger; that's so very true.
ReplyDeleteHowever, as clearly as you did present your thoughts, you still left one filter- 'Anonymous'.
"or the I-wronged-her-last-week-I'll-make-up-for-it-by-complimenting-her, compliment..." haha I love it..
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this blog post. I completely agree that people don't compliment one another enough. It's almost as if complimenting others at times may cause them to reflect upon something they don't have, which leads to insecurities, etc. Is being happy for others too much to ask?